This is my second attempt at One Shoot Sunday on onestoppoetry.com http://bit.ly/i85rRk I am surprised at what came out after looking at this fabulous picture prompt provided by photographer Sean McCormick. 
House of Blues
House of Blues
my heart
blood red inside
oozing with each puncture made
by leaving words
stabbing holes
in the hurt-eaten framework
in the hurt-eaten framework
that was once
solid love
Oh my! What an excellent metaphor this picture has become.
ReplyDelete"In the hurt eaten framework".... what an excellent line to drop in there near the end. You set that up very nicely in few words and short lines :)
ReplyDelete..the hurt-eaten framework
ReplyDeletethat was once
solid love... wow - like this!
Poor heart to be so hurt and bleeding. Great representation of the artwork
ReplyDeleteThis could be a song. And I would smile to it, drinking and diving in the melody.
ReplyDeleteoh snap...yeah i can feel that...puncture wounds...mine are tingling now...
ReplyDeleteThe title alone captures a great angle on the pic. This was tight and can be left as is in my humble opinion.
ReplyDeleteWow! Excellent metaphor, and "the hurt-eaten framework that once was solid love" is quote-worthy! Fine writing!
ReplyDeleteA stinging metaphor to transform the house into - short, potent descriptions lead to hard-hitting visuals of a broken heart. House of Blues indeed - and one in which we've all dwelt at one point or another.
ReplyDelete"Hurt eaten framework." I like that a lot.
ReplyDeletenice now you took this to a relationship that once was whole....love the symbolism...bkm
ReplyDeletei agree with the rest..."hurt eaten framework that once was solid love" great lines :)
ReplyDelete