Sunday, February 27, 2011

Abandoned

Sticking cognition
causing delays.
Words in place
unable to return
overlapping
unintelliglble.
Synapses firing
a dried up
ribbon of thought.
Broken case
holding
the dust of stories
fallen off
the brittle page
           abandoned
                    forgotten
                                                      
For One Shoot Sunday on http://onestoppoetry.com/

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12 comments:

  1. ReflectionsFebruary 27, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    Wow, I love this, the forgotten reflections, words fumbled and stumbled onto pages, permanently left with no simple changes.

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  2. ClaudiaFebruary 27, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    oh i like the ..Synapses firing
    a dried up ribbon of thought....

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  3. dustusFebruary 27, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    Love the effect your short lines create... on the surface almost seeming fragmentary, yet prompting further thought. i also really like the 'ribbon of thought" line.

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  4. Brian MillerFebruary 27, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    looks like you found some flow in that ribbon after all....nicely done on the imagery...well played...

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  5. AnonymousFebruary 27, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Loved the dissipation of the last two lines. Dried carbon ink was the pits, and so was changing the ribbon!

    Thanks for sharing!

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  6. ElaineFebruary 27, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    You managed to make such a story with so few words. Write on!

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  7. Gigi AnnFebruary 27, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    I loved that poem. It just floated along so nicely right to the end.....

    Thanks for your visit today.

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  8. JerryFebruary 27, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    Well then, let's find a wisk broom and pan a shake the dust stories unto the floor, sweep them up, and spead them like urn ashes over our laptops for inspiration...and tie a carbon ribbon round the old oak tree! Good tke miss.

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  9. Steve IsaakFebruary 28, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    Solid work, captured the spirit of the picture well.

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  10. Beverly AnnFebruary 28, 2011 at 8:29 PM

    Side note: The picture made me think of old people unable to communicate anymore, 'abandoned' in nursing homes, still holding stories they are unable to tell. This was the basis for my poem. Interesting how it was interpreted by others. Thank you all for your comments.

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  11. rmpWritingsMarch 1, 2011 at 4:42 AM

    i love how you use the features of an old type writer to depict the mind and thoughts that rattle around up there. lovely poem!

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  12. JackAZ PhotographyMarch 4, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    Brittle, oh so brittle. Wonderful way to leave me pondering so much!

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